Teresa Experiences

There was something different about my bike. For several years, I had tolerated its slightly bigger-than-me frame, with my back and arms stretching forward. This position never bothered me during long rides, maybe some back pain, but nothing too uncomfortable. Downtube shifting took a while for me to master but I liked the vintage feel of it. It felt clattery and bumpy, especially on poorly maintained roads, but on long rides, I knew it wouldn't let me down. All in all, I had grown to love this old road bike with all its imperfections. 

Today was different. I could feel the chain struggling to hit the gears. I could feel the bearings slowing down and I felt like I was in a more stretched out position. The strange synergy I felt that nobody else could feel whenever others would ride my bike was missing. It felt... old.

I blamed this all on 2 recent crashes. The first crash was when the car hit me and I had to have my handlebars replaced. I'm now on wider (42cm vs. 40 cm) handlebars and have pretty blue and yello camo handlebar tape on. My second crash happened a few weeks later as I descended a hill with a flat front tire. As I braked, the wheel slid out in front of me and fell facedown. Thank God again for my helmet. I ripped my pants and skinned my palm. In the few seconds that I lay there, I already felt the bruises forming.

What was wrong with me? Was I biking too much? Was I taking too many unnecessary risks? Was I becoming complacent in my riding? I contemplated taking a break from riding but I knew that I would only look for it.

But I still rode. However, there was a new sensation. It was fear. I no longer blazed through downhill sections, instead I gripped the handlebars and brakes tightly, imagining all sorts of scenarios, mostly where the bike would spin out front of me and I would get crushed by an incoming truck/bus coming from Teresa. And that was what I felt that Sunday, as LA and I did another semi-long ride (60km~). My riding position was so stretched out and I had to reach farther down my brakes.

LA and I had our lugaw, and as I was explaining my situation to him, I realized my handlebars were all wrong. I thought back to the time the bike mechanics installed my semi-new handlebars and told them to place the brake hoods further down. No wonder I felt stretched out. I was literally stretched out. I was leaning so far forward as I braked that I was off my seat, placing all my gravity on the front part of my bike. No wonder it felt like I could topple any second-- it was only a matter of time before that could actually happen.

Orange-tinted life

As we headed back and went through Antipolo, I felt frustrated as we made our way down. Now that I knew what was causing the problem, I made my way down slowly and cautiously. I was frustrated as other bikes passed me downhill. And turns frightened me, as if I suddenly forgot how and when to brake.

That day was a bit eerie as I felt myself getting stronger uphill (that 3km stretch from Teresa to Antipolo no longer frightened me as I thought it would), yet somehow lost my confidence going downhill.