I always wonder how I ended up here

The Trees Are Out To Get You.

October 10. Autumn Rush. The race starts off on this immense hill, and I hear my breathing and my heart pounding well into the first ten minutes of this run. I'm not the only one. Most of the runners who have started this race running are now walking up the hills.

Then suddenly, I step into another world. It's all downhill from here--literally. I take what the trail gives me.  It's past12pm, but it's practically pitch black in the forest. I hear nothing, but the sound of my breathing. I almost lose my footing on several occasions, wanting to stop and take in the sights and sounds and this incredible atmosphere of where I am running, but gravity won't let me. Instead it takes me down, down, down, through twisty trails and singletracks, roots and rocks. And I am lost. Lost in my thoughts, lost in this eerie world where I half-expect trees to come to life and nymphs to pop out any time.

I feel incredibly sure-footed. Not a single thought of doubt enters my mind as I weave my way in and around the trails. My breathing, once heavy and noisy at the start of the uphills, are now more controlled.

Then I feel myself getting pulled back to reality. I see a dog and hikers. I see an aid station, where I take a banana and an electrolyte pill. (Apparently there was beer in that station too, which I did not know about??!) I see an even crazier hill than the one we entered. And I see other runners slowly climb that hill. And I hear their voices.

"My calves are killing me!"
"I'm cramping up!"

I hear the announcer and I see the parking lot. I hear a "Go, Lei!" cheer from Stacey, as she is already changing by the car.

And just like that, it was over way too soon. I grabbed a veggie burger, and stuffed my face with chips and a wagonwheel (an oversized Fibisco choco mallow) and hoped either Stacey's or my name would come up in the door prizes. I didn't win anything, but Stacey (unknowingly to her!) won the 10km category!

So no, the trees did not come out to get me. But I almost wished they did. How I would have loved to stay in that almost magical and mysterious trail!

The rain that was forecast for our race start made its presence known instead during the awarding. The temperature dropped a few degrees and then we made our way out of the park.

20km runners making their way past the start line.

Myra Adventure Park has this awesome ropes course for friends, family, or corporate stuff.

Thanksgiving Weekend in Canada. What are you thankful for?

My camera can't quite capture that awesome red fall-iage (harhar) way way down below.

Rene, the race director, giving some final pre-race tips to the 20km runnners.

Pre-race picture with Stacey!

Post-race with our finisher's medals! Stacey won the 10km category!

Some serious post-race chillage

Many thanks to the PACE Sports team, especially to Rene and all the volunteers for making this run happen!

Sunday Smoke

My laptop is a canvas of oily fingerprints, bread and cookie crumbs and coffee stains. It's disgusting really.

My mind and body are struggling to find the balance between coming from a place of familiarity and a place where everything is new and challenging.

I try to exercise. I still bike commute. I now cook and clean and do the groceries on my own. I worry about things like health care and rent and student budgets.

I try not to think of my peers back home-- their stable careers, loving relationships and little families. It's a life I want, just not now.

I think about the steps that led me here, how three years ago, I told myself I was going to get a PhD. And so here I am. How I traded a life of comfort and security for one of uncertainty.

It will all work out in the end, I tell myself. And so others tell me too.

Today, the fires from Washington brought tons of smoke to the BC area. The smell of smoke would cling to your clothing and skin. So I spent most of today indoors. And I made a pretty sweet carrot loaf.

Ain't It Fun!

"Livin' in the real world"

I burst out laughing when this song came on Spotify. I was on my way home after riding a particularly hilly section of road. (What am I talking about, everything here is hilly). And I kept thinking how apt it was.

My legs and lungs needed new life. This day definitely brought me some of that.

I must have played that song several times on the way home.

"Don't go cryin' to your mama 'cause you're on your own!"

Break

Constant drizzle for three days.  

Then the sky opened up.

I stepped off my bike and wondered aloud, "How the hell did I end up here again?"

In the Zone

Blue Trail, Timberland Heights, San Mateo, Rizal. Pen joked that I needed off-road/trail riding training before I moved away. So Pen and Levi took me to their little playground for some fun on the trails. Trails are a chaotic mess that wreak havoc on your mind, body and bike, but then you hit that zone where absolute serenity happens. Then the madness happens all over again.

The truth is, these trails frighten me. There is always that drop, curve or that insanely steep climb with the loose rocks and soil where you ask yourself if you can ride it or if the bike can handle it. Truth is, it's always the latter.

It's a stubborn relationship where the bike keeps asking more of you, but you hold back. It's aggressive and wants to let loose on the trails, while you're tightly gripping the handlebars-- heart thudding, sweat dripping, legs turning to jelly. Eventually, you give in and it turns out the bike was right all along.

Well, that paragraph turned into more drama than expected. I just imagined all that in my head, actually. Bikes will make you do that.

SHEroes Behind the Scenes

March 2015. I received a message the other day from Charley, a good friend of mine, asking if Pen and I were available for a shoot on women on bicycles for Rappler. So on a Saturday afternoon, I sat on the steps of Vargas Museum with Mia, Tina, Nitya, Julia, Charley and Pen. As it usually goes with people with similar interests, we fell into easy conversation talking about what we loved the most: bicycles.

We know that people like this exist: women who brave the streets of Metro Manila everyday to get to the office or school or for leisurely pursuits, despite the obvious challenges and risks. We knew that there were other women who are as passionate about bicycles as you are. But outside of our little group of friends, we've never talked about cycling in the city. We introduced ourselves, how we got into biking, why we do it, the risks and challenges of cycling in the city. When you do something so often, you forget that what you're doing is something special. That day was a much-needed reminder.

The afternoon was getting late, still we kept talking.

Lei, Pen, Tina, Julia, Nitya, Mia. Photo c/o Charley

This was part of Rappler's feature on #SHEroes for International Women's Month. The article can be found here. You can check out our video here: